On the Art of Life

Hell, it’s been some time since I wrote my last blog entry.
I’m going to continue on the story I worked on when I was analyzing my apparently inherent dualism.
I don’t know if everyone who read my previous post knows I decided on my big conundrum which of the two (autonomous visual arts or philosophy) I was going to study, so here it is: I am now a student of philosophy, and not only that, but I’m also doing extremely well (at least, I’m pretty sure I do).
After these few months many things have already changed in me, and I must say, it feels great! First of all, I have embraced my contradictory nature, which led to a fruitful alliance of opposites; something I never expected to happen. I feared internal conflict.
I do not feel like a stranger anymore. Not to myself, and not to others.
The funny thing is that I always expected this to happen when my quest for religion would be complete. That I needed a religion for my self-fulfillment. Religions also claim that themselves, that they, as it were, can provide fulfillment of the self.
What irony, then, to truly be able to be one’s self through the rejection of these things! I rejected God, heaven, truth, eternity, meaning, unity, perfection as illusions. I finally awoke from this nightmare called religion. I live an entirely new life now. I have a different outlook entirely, now.
I want to be the ultimate artist. Not only in the disciplines we know as art – although in their case I decided to focus on music and poetry – but also in philosophy (especially philosophy as an art of life and cultural philosophy), and my own spirituality, truth and morality (which need not be religious – I am artistically spiritual). My life, as a whole, will be my work of art.
Even my contradictory nature, which I found so strange, and perhaps dangerous, has now been transformed into my greatest gift to myself. I am not Nikolaos or Alexander anymore. I am both.
I am independently dependent, religiously atheist, actively nihilistic, mercifully resolute, decadent yet decent, scientifically artistic, terrible yet kind, arrogant yet modest, melancholically choleric, a idealistic realist and an optimistic pessimist. Most of these traits even vice versa as well.
In short, I am rationally intuitive, and intuitively rational.
Every feeling, sensation, experience, thought, insight, etc. I make or have is analyzed rationally, and responded to intuitively, or, again, vice versa, but always consciously. I can think of a mistake I make at the moment that it is made, for example.
It’s funny, really, Nietzsche, who is one of the philosophers I admire most in the world, said the exact same thing about himself. He too, was a walking contradiction. That is why he is the only philosopher with whom it will never be possible for me to disagree.
The third factor, of course, and perhaps most important, is the fact that I started fencing again, which makes me feel healthier and stronger every time. So now I have my body under control, as well. Body, Mind and Spirit – the three who are one.
The most bizarre thing is that not only do I look in a different way at the world around me, but that I also see different – sharper, clearer. My empathic skills have doubled. I can now, with little or no information, have insight on people, objects and the world around me.
I sometimes think that, if I keep going like this, no one will be able to stop me – I already am throwing myself gleefully upon any challenge. Perhaps I’ll change the world entirely. Perhaps not, perhaps I’ll decide I don’t want to. Perhaps I’ll be a great guru.
But my aspiration stands: I want to become the Übermensch – not because Nietzsche told me so, but because that is the most natural thing for me to want. I want to become Buddha. I want to be Metatron.
Artist, warrior, and philosopher.
I want everyone to want this for him- or herself.
I, and my generation are a sign that the next evolutionary step of humanity is, indeed, possible.
And trust me when I say that I have seen several individuals like me, from my generation. Our consciousness is evolving – and it is glorious!
My advice to you is this: Be who you want to be, but do it actively, passionately and fearlessly. There are many difficulties and hindrances you will have to deal with before you can do this, however. And the greatest difficulty is doubt. Doubt about yourself, and doubt about the world around you. This is a hindrance you can overcome with reason. Abstract your personality. Try to distill every trait you know you have. Try to know every aspect of yourself. Think hard and long. Meditate. Realise the sheer quantity of aspects within you, and the meaninglessness, the emptiness of it all. When you finally know yourself, without any doubt, you will know the world. When you know yourself, you can love yourself, without becoming a narcissist. When you love yourself in this way you can also love the world, and everyone who, like you, lives within it.
I’m not advocating ataraxia, or passivity when I’m talking about meaninglessness. I’m talking about endless possibilities, when I’m talking about emptiness. Like Lao Tzu said: “We value a bowl, because of its emptiness.”. The emptiness is valuable, because you can fill it any way you desire. And be honest. Especially with yourself. You know your intuitions, your faults and accomplishments. Admit them to yourself, because you absolutely can’t fool yourself – and if you try to fool yourself, you’ll have lost.
But, most of all, don’t take my word for it. I mean, as an artist and creator of my life, I am building it the way I am able to build it, with the faculties I have, and with the strengths and weaknesses I have. You will probably have your own way, which is all the better. Just be your own hero, and your own role model, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. We are not narcissists, and not evil – we just know ourselves.
We are manifestations of and monuments to the spirit of humanity.
We are the essence and the substance
We are living paradoxes.

-Alexander N. Arvanitis

~ by Λέλεκας on December 28, 2008.